EW and the Rise of the Ninja Robot Pirate Monkeys
by elamentalwarrior
Summary: Just when I thought my life was getting boring, something new popped out of nowhere. Some Evil girl falls from the sky and starts taking over a race of mechanical monkeys, that are also pirate ninjas. So it's up to me and my friends The Mane 6 to stop them. What could possibly go wrong?


_**EW and the Rise of the Ninja Robot Pirate Monkeys**_

* * *

 **An Evil person fell from the sky for no reason.**

* * *

"AAAHHHHHHHHH! I'M FALLING FROM THE SKY FOR NO REASON!" The Evil person yelled as she was a hot anime chick, and had pale red hair, and wore a black torn cloth around them.

Yeah Red and Black is cliche, but guess what. ' _No body gives a shit!'_ Damn I thought those music notes would stay on there.

Anyway. Below her, and I mean far below her. Like a mile or two, okay okay! I'll get on with it. Their lied an ocean, where an island was housed. However this island had a massive jungle growing from it, and it was resting on a giant ship the size of New York City.

But it wasn't all. The jungle had a giant sail on it with the emblem of a monkey wearing a ninja mask, and wore a pirate hat, and had robotic eyes.

 **DOJO-DECK-ISLAND**

Deep within the jungle laid it's inhabits. Robot Pirate Monkey Ninjas, of all shapes and sizes doing what monkeys did best.

A chimp robot was banging against a coconut with wooden sticks.

Another was an Ape robot that was collecting metal scraps, to another Robot Ape that was a Silver Back (Or in this case looked like one). And it was dressed as a Captain/Kage.

The Silver Back looked at the scraps and smacked them to the side, angering the Robot Ape causing it to pound it's chest, before receiving a Donkey Kong punch from the Captain/Kage and being sent into the sky and into space, never to be seen again.

Then it roared loud, showing it's dominance only for it to be drowned out by a feminine scream coming from above it.

The second the Silver Back Captain/Kage looked up it was crushed to death by the Evil Person who Fell from the Sky, landing on it. Scaring the other monkeys that were robot pirate ninjas. While one Female Ninja Robot Pirate Monkey stood behind a tree and kept herself hidden.

The Evil Person then got up, and looked at the dead Ninja Robot Pirate Monkey Captain, she crushed. Before she ripped it's head off and took off the hat, and putting it on and tossing the Silver Back's head to the side.

"Oh! That fits perfect." She said with a smile. "Look, Mom. I'm a Ninja Robot Pirate Monkey... in fact." She then stripped the metal corpse if it's outfit and weapons, and placing them on her, and for some reason she managed to make them fit her... wired. "I... am... Neikan. The Captain-Kage OF ALL NINJA ROBOT PIRATE MONKEYS!" She yelled to the sky.

"Neikan won't get away with this." The Female Ninja Robot Pirate Monkey said. "My fellow primate-robots are far to intelligent to see her as a leader.

As soon as she said that the other Ninja Robot Pirate Monkeys bowed to Neikan, believing that she was their new Messiah.

"First." Neikan took out a roll of paper and unrolled it, showing a blueprint of a giant cannon. "We make an Evil Cannon."

"... We make an Evil Cannon." The Ninja Robot Pirate Monkeys repeated.

"Evil Cannon Number 13." Neikan said with a smile.

"... Number 13." The Ninja Robot Pirate Monkeys repeated again.

"To Destroy Equestria!" Neikan said as she pointed out to the distance, where the Island Ship was facing.

"... To Destroy Equestria." The Ninja Robot Pirate Monkeys repeated once more.

"Perfect." Neikan said with a evil smile and laughed evilly.

"Perfect." The Ninja Robot Pirate Monkeys repeated her and laughed evilly just like her.

"Stop laughing." Neikan ordered.

"Stop laughing." The repeated.

"You don't have to repeat everything I say." Neikan said.

"We don't have to repeat everything you say." The Ninja Robot Pirate Monkeys said.

"Excellent." Neikan said with a smile.

"Excellent." The Ninja Robot Pirate Monkeys

Neikan looked at them with a risen brow. "... Did you all say excellent, because I said excellent?" She asked them.

"... Uhhhhhhh... No." The Ninja Robot Pirate Monkeys said.

"Excellent." Neikan said with a smile as she walked to where the Captain/Kage stayed and it was a cave that was styled as a captain's quarters, and a dojo at the same time.

"Excellent." The Ninja Robot Pirate Monkeys said as they followed her.

The Female Ninja Robot Pirate Monkey, ran into the jungle and climbed up a large tree where a house was built on it, and went inside. She wrote down a message, and tied it to a muffin. Before she placed it on a giant sling shot, she pulled back as far as she could before sending the muffin into the sky as it headed for Equestria. "Hopefully someone will find that and warn it's leaders." She said as she closed the curtains of her home.

* * *

 **Equestia, Ponyville Sugarcube Corner.**

EW was with the Mane 6, and they were making cupcakes inside Sugar Cube Corner. Pinkie Pie was eating some of them, even tho she was told not to Twice by Rarity and Applejack. But the sweets there were so good.

EW took one cupcake and placed the whole thing into his mouth and swallowed, before smiling. "Delicious." EW said with a smile, as he licked his lips. He had brown hair that looked like chocolate, and brown eyes, and he had a Lateral Tooth missing.

He wore a black Attack On Titan T-shirt, with a grey zipper hoodie, and wore bluejeans with black shoes. And wore a black bracelet on his right hand, and two smaller bracelets on his left hand that were white and black.

"Not you to!" Applejack said in annoyance.

"Sorry Applejack their just so good." He said with a chuckle, before he was about to get another one but Rarity used her magic to slap his hand out of the way.

"No, no. Darling these are for the bake off, and we cannot be late or short of these cupcakes." Rarity said.

"But-" EW was then cut off by the marshmallow pony.

"No means 'NO'!" Rarity said sternly as she gave EW a look.

"Fine." EW said with a sigh, as he walked outside. It looked like they had everything under control so it looked like they wouldn't need help for a while.

EW walked outside and looked around the town of Ponyville, he got settled in after a year or two. Ever since he found a way to enter this realm freely. He still had access to his house on earth, but he kept a house here as well for fun. And if he wanted to get away and relax.

"Some life I have made." EW said as he walked around, the town. He decided to head for his house and see if he had any mail. He didn't live far from his friends and the house he got was going to be condemned if it wasn't going to be used.

It looked like an old log cabin house, because a pony use to cut wood and sell it during the winter. And this was once a store for it. But the business was moved to a bigger and better log cabin that was on the other side of ponyville.

He saw Derpy flying from his house, and he quickly went to her. "Hey Derpy, any mail for me yet?" He asked her.

"Sorry EW, nothing but Bills again." Derpy said as she gave him an apologizing look.

"Well it's better than nothing." EW said with a sigh, as he said goodbye to the wall eyed pegasus before she left. He then went to his mail box, and took out the letters, and sat on the steps of his wooden house. "Bill, bill, bill, Bill." He sighed again, and grabbed the back of his head digging his fingers through his chocolate-brown hair. "I hate bills, and this one isn't even for me... It's a letter for a guy 'NAMED' Bill!" He growled. "Even if they don't cost allot, it's still annoying." He said as he made his arms go limp.

"This once excited place, is started to go completely boring." EW said, and looked up at the sky, and groaned. "Common I want something fun! Something New!" He yelled and as if his wish was granted something landed in his mouth and knocked him straight inside his house, and making him crashed through his living room, and his kitchen.

"Ugh." He said with a muffled groan of pain. He spat the item out and found it to be a muffin, with a letter. He got up and took the letter off the muffin and unrolled it, but then turned to look at the muffin, and his appetite grew once more. Then he took a bit of the muffin enjoying the taste, while reading the letter.

* * *

 _'To the residents of the Pony Land.-_

 _I bring distressing news, an unknown human has appeared from the sky and has taken over my people._

 _She intends to inflict great harm to your home, and people._

 _Please warn your leaders of the pearl, and flee!_

 _I don't know how long it will be until we arrive._

 _Sincerely Momoko.'_

* * *

"Huh... that doesn't sound good." EW said as he was halfway finished with the muffin, and noticed another bit on the letter. And read it.

* * *

 _'P.S. Do not eat the muffin, I just realized that it will make anyone who eats it break out in a painful agonizing rash._

* * *

"Wait what?" EW asked as he found his skin starting the break out, and itch really badly. But then he noticed another bit on the letter, and read it while scratching himself.

* * *

 _'P.P.S. Also the muffin is also filled with blood sucking ticks and fleas, and their bites can cause painful swelling bumps, that itch really badly when they bite.'_

* * *

EW then looked at the muffin again, and it had parasites crawling out of it and going inside his hoodie sleeve and crawling all over his body now and biting and sucking his blood. Then he noticed another bit of the letter and read it.

* * *

 _'P.P.P.S. Oh and I added too much sugar into the muffin and it will make you go hyper for several hours.'_

* * *

EW then dropped the muffin and slowly got up. He took in a deep breath before exhaling.

* * *

Outside the ponies went along their day, in front of EW's house, before the front door and it's frame was blown out by the Human as he ran outside at 70 miles an hour.

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed in pain and was scratching himself as he ran around Town Square 50 times, and ran around the rest of town and it's popular locations.

He ran to the Flower Sister's Flower Shop, and ran around it, causing Lily Blossom to scream as well as she pointed her hoof at him, and had it followed him around and around.

He then ran into the spa, where Aloe and Lotus were giving the local ponies messaged. The heard EW running in, and the placed a pair of ear muffs on the customer, without looking. And the human ran past them without causing any problems for them. As he ran into the therapy pool and screamed under the water, and ran out of it and out of the spa.

He then ran to a McDasiy's and went inside it, and stopped. "Yes I will have a veggie burger with extra lettuce and no onions, and no pickles. And with a medium combo Hay fries and apple soda please." EW said as he scratched himself.

"For here or to go?" The pony behind the register asked.

"To go please." EW said with a smile.

"That will be Five Bits, and 50 bites." The pony said as EW paid him. Once EW got his order he went back to screaming and scratching himself as he ate his lunch. "Thank you for choosing McDaisy's."

EW then ran out of Ponyville, and ran along side the train tracks while a train was riding beside him. And the ponies riding the train were baffled seeing this human running so fast, as he headed for the Crystal Empire.

He ran to the crystal kingdom, passing by the crystal ponies. Before running inside the castle and into the library and running around. Princess Cadence and Shining Armor watched him run around, and making the bookshelves shake and having it's book falling.

They were able to catch all the falling books with their magic, and placing them back before EW ran back outside.

EW then ran out of the Crystal Empire and headed to Dodge Junction, and into the cherry orchard Cheery Jubilee owned. The ponies working there had a hard time trying to get the cherries down, before EW ran into it and so fast the the wind that tried to catch up to him, was knocking the cherries off without a problem, and landing inside the baskets scattered all around the orchard. And he ran in a Pacman style fashion before running out of Dodge and headed for Appaloosa

Their a race was being held and the buffaloes were running, before EW ran past them and crossed the Finished line. "We have a winner!" Little Strong Heart said with a smile before she held up a blue ribbon for EW and placing it on him as he ran by.

EW then ran through the territory of the Diamond Dogs, and his running caused the K9 diggers appear from the ground and watching him run. Before the shock waves he made caused an underground tremor and thousands, upon thousands of gems rain inside the caverns.

Then EW ran up a mountain, where the Wonderbolts training filed was. And he ran inside the Mares locker room making the mares scream. "GET OUT OF THE MARES LOCKER ROOM!" Spitfire yelled as she bucked EW out and sending him flying and landing on the corner of the mountain, making him roll down it.

He rolled all the way down it, and back to Ponyville. As he entered the town again and headed for Sugar Cube Corner, and hitting the steps and he bounced inside scaring the Mane 6, and making Fluttershy fly and hid in the cabinet, and landing on his butt, dragging it across the floor like a dog with worms.

"AH! AH! OW! OH! EH! AH!" He screamed with each drag. Before he jumped and landed on his back and scooted in a long line, then rolled onto his left side and used his feet to run around in a circle 10 times, as he tried to make the painful itching go away.

He was then grabbed by Twilight's magic and slapped in the face a few times. "EW What's wrong with you!?" Twilight yelled at him.

"Itchy... So... ITCHY!" EW screamed before he started shaking and trying to scratch himself. "Oh and I found this letter while I was at my house." He said like plainly as he handed her the letter.

Twilight let go of him, and took the letter. And while EW was trying to remedy his condition he was in, Twilight red the letter and was dumb folded. "Ninja Robot Pirate Monkeys?" She asked.

"Ninja Robot Pirate Monkeys?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"Ninja Robot Pirate Monkeys?" Applejack asked.

"Ninja Robot Pirate Monkeys?" Rarity asked.

"Ninja Robot Pirate Monkeys?" Fluttershy asked as she popped out from the cabinet.

"Ninja Robot Party Monkeys?!" Pinkie Pie asked in glee.

"Ninja Robot Pirate Monkeys!?" EW asked as he stood himself up but kept itching.

* * *

 _Some Time Later..._

After a long talk with the Princesses, and using a special rash potion to ease EW's itching and bug bites, along with an ice pack. EW was skied about this even now. "Alright, time to face some bad guys." He said as he was heading to his house but was brought back by Twilight.

"Stop right there. We need a plan." Twilight told him.

"I have a plan." EW said.

"If it's run and attack, I'm going to keep you inside a bubble shield." Twilight said sternly.

"Well then I got nothing." EW said with a sigh.

"Where did Ninja Robot Pirate Monkeys even come from?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"The story goes back ages ago, where a race of intelligent monkeys, who mastered industry and technology. Doggedly maintain the ways of their Pirate and Ninja Four Fathers." Princess Celestia said. "Soon enough they evolved into Ninja Robot Pirate Monkeys."

"This is awesome, I've always wanted a Ninja Robot Pirate Monkey!" EW said with a grin.

"Since when?" Applejack asked.

"Since five seconds ago." EW said with a smile, as making the Apple Pony groan.

"We will be sending you to this island, and you must stop this human that has taken over it." Princess Luna said.

"Sweet!" EW said with a smile, as Twilight let go of him and he ran to his house, and picked up a yellow street sign with arrows going in a circular direction, and the metal pole of it had an 'S' shaped bend in it.

He also got his backpack and filled it with camping gear, and snacks, and drinks. And then ran back outside where the Mane 6 were. "Ready!" EW sounded off, as he held the street sign over his shoulder.

"Sweet Nelly." Applejack said as she covered her face wit her hat.

After some time, the Mane 6 got ready as well. And they got onto a small blimp, that was covered in special clouds. "Be careful my little ponies." Celestia said before EW cleared his throat. "And you to, my little human."

"Will deal with this problem, before you know it." EW said with a smile.

"EW don't go crazy like you did last time." Applejack told him.

"Hey, I only replaced the apples with pears one time." EW said plainly.

"Wait a minute..." Applejack's eye twitched. "That... was... you?" She asked in anger.

"Wait what did I say?" EW asked before he realized what he said. "Uh oh."

* * *

The next cut away shows the blimp riding into the sky, and the sound of Applejack back hooves were bucking EW like a wild animal, as the human was screaming once more.

* * *

( YouTube - One Piece Opening 9 - US Toonami Version )

Sekaijuu no umi wo mata ni kaketeiku  
Otakebi agete  
Kokoro ga haretara shuppatsu no aizu wo  
Hibikaseikou

Sadamerareta michi wo nukete  
Sora to umi no sakaime ni  
Ima bokura, kogidashiteiku no sa

Kurai umi no soko ni, iki hisomeru adobenchaa  
Souzou suru dakede tanoshikunaranai ka?

Sekaijuu no umi wo mata ni kaketeiku  
Otakebi agete  
Kokoro ga haretara shuppatsu no aizu wo  
Hibikaseikou

Funade no toki no [ano kimochi]  
Zutto wasurezu ni itai  
Sou sureba  
Nani mo kowakunai kara...

Ima takanaru kodou, osaezu ni TRIP shiyou  
Shaina haato-tachi ga kizamu bouken no rizumu

Sokora naka no takara wo kassarainagara  
Takawarai shite  
Baka sawagi no utage de tobashiteyuke  
Shibukiagete...

* * *

"Oh Sorry I had the translations off." EW said as he fixed the lyrics.

* * *

Traveling throughout the world's ocean, Let us call out in joy!  
When my heart's rested, Let's ring the signal to start!

Walking the unpaved path, In between the sky and the sea  
We are now steering our ship. Out here in the dark deep ocean,

The adventure that's waiting, Doesn't it sounds fun just thinking about it?

Traveling throughout the world's ocean, Let us call out in joy!  
When my heart's rested, Let's ring the signal to start!

The feeling we had when we started out journey  
Don't want to loose that memory  
Now that I think about it, Nothing seems scary to me…

With this pace, Let us continue this trip  
The rhythm of adventure that shy hearted people feel

Find all the treasure and laugh out in pride  
Use it all up during a great party and spray it out!

Life is "Adventurous"  
Be aware it's "Dangerous"  
Who's gonna be "One of us"  
And a trip goes on because,  
We da pirate of the "Mass"  
To the West, To the East  
Gotta find my way, Sail away  
All the way to "One Piece"!

Bringing dreams to an empty heart, Spread your wings  
Take a deep breath and continue on!

Find all the treasure and laugh out in pride  
Use it all up during a great party and spray it out!

* * *

EW then sighed in front of his computer, and chuckled. Yup... Ninja Robot Pirate Monkeys." He said to the 4th wall with a chuckle. "Now I'm putting my self in an adventure, and it's going to be epic." He said with a smile. "And if you have any suggestions for more Ninja Robot Pirate Monkeys, just let me know. And 'PLEASE' Don't start with the Gremmar, and Spilleng thing, I'm tired of that." EW begged.


End file.
